Divorce and Catholicism

Working with Catholic clients, it is very valuable to understand Catholic religious belief and practice regarding divorce. 

Because of centuries of history and culture, even nominally practicing Catholics may experience strong emotions during a divorce.  The attitudes of close family members may range from empathy to outright disapproval, and profoundly affect the person’s ability to cope with these life changes.

A little history is enlightening.  Prior to Jesus, divorce was allowed under certain circumstances, described in Deuteronomy in the Old Testament.  Except for cases of intermarriage, Jesus viewed the marriage bond as permanent, and early Christians did not permit divorce.  Divorce was understood to mean the freedom to remarry; lifelong separation was acceptable.  Theologians argue about whether Jesus intended an exception if the partner committed adultery.  Some say that Jesus taught that divorce was not acceptable to God, and therefore remarriage would be adulterous. (Mark 10:11-12).  Others argue that Jesus’ intention was to permit remarriage to the person who was abandoned. (1 Corinthians 7:10-11) Paul ( 7:12 -16).  

Augustine considered Christian marriage a sacrament, and opposed divorce even for the innocent party in the case of adultery.  While the Eastern Church had somewhat more liberal views, Augustine’s approach became the standard of the Western Church , and today’s Catholic Church.  While Protestant Reformers could not agree on the specifics of what was permitted, they did reject the notion that a marriage was not dissolvable.  Catholics went the other direction, and made the prohibition of divorce part of canon law.

They did, however, provide for annulment, whereby a marriage could be declared invalid by the Church tribunal, thus allowing the person to remarry within the Catholic Church.  In these cases, the children of that union are still considered “legitimate” despite the annulment.  Catholics who are divorced (by the secular court) are not supposed to receive communion, but are permitted most other worship privileges, and their divorce is not considered a sin.  While these are the "official" view, the attitudes within the church and among Catholics span a wide range.  Some Catholics consider their marriage and divorce a private matter, not subject to church policy or judgment.

 Therapists often need to help these clients sort out the internal conflict, guilt, and fear of abandonment or alienation from both family and church.  Sometimes it is appropriate to encourage a client to make an appointment to see their priest or spiritual leader.  There is often more empathy there than the individual expects, and one source of stress can be relieved. 

One organization, the North American Conference of Separated and Divorced Catholics, has pioneered the formation of support groups within Catholic churches, and has the goals of finding and bringing people back to the Church and fostering the “spiritual and emotional maturity of those going through separation, divorce, or remarriage.”

Articles on the Web about Catholicism and divorce:

1. Synopsis of the Catholic approach to divorce
2. History of Christianity and Divorce (This article originally appeared in the December 14, 1992 issue of Christianity Today. Michael Gorman is dean of the Ecumenical Institute of Theology and professor of New Testament and Early Christianity at St. Mary's Seminary in Baltimore
3. How Not to Fail Hurting Couples