Resolving Conflict with Dignity

Separate the person from the problem.

• No personal attacks.

• Don’t assume their motives.

• Consider the value of this relationship to you in the future.

• Focus on interests, not positions.

• What does each person REALLY want?  (i.e. recognition, money, fairness, time, less pressure, to feel warm, to feel wanted, etc)

Positions often get hardened the more they are articulated.

• Invent options for mutual gain.

• Brainstorm without censoring.

• Think outside the box.

• Look for a way both people’s needs or interests can be met.

• Use objective criteria to come up with a solution and evaluate the outcome.

From Getting To Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury